Life Altered

Life altered. 

I don’t believe people are typically aware when a life altering event occurs, until long after it passes. Reflecting on my life, I identify those rare, shocking, and emotionally intense moments. These are not solely junctures when one path is chosen over another. These are the instances in which the entire trajectory of your life is permanently transformed.  The ones where you cannot imagine how life would be, had that moment never happened.

My girls.

The most obvious that comes to mind is the births of my two daughters. Everything about my life is forever changed by those beautiful humans.  My identity, my purpose, motherhood being more than I could have possibly envisioned.  Experiencing a newfound sense of wonder, lifelong worry and concern, pride, and profound love. Their presence in my life, creating a seismic shift in how I navigate and see the world, for them and for me. Hoping to live long enough to see them develop into strong, resilient, and fulfilled adults.

My father’s death. 

Death can be extremely life altering.  His death followed a year of tortured cancer illness, with me and our family by his side. My daughters lost their grandfather and witnessed their mother rock, temporarily fragmented, fighting to pick up the pieces. The death of my dad created immense grief that still lies dormant.  Rearing its head when the walls are down or in the moments when his absence is most noticeable.  Losing my rock, seeking the steadfast support no longer present.   Grasping the fragility of life, desiring to live fully.

Meeting Tarah online.

The most recent occurred six months ago, summer 2025.  I was completely unaware in those very innocent and seemingly frivolous exchanges, that my life would be forever transformed.  We gently flirted with inquisitive questions, shared our stories, and tested the waters.  Upon our first meeting, there was chemistry and kinetic energy yet we remained hesitant, grounded, cautious.  Two women with very different histories, searching for connection while needing to trust and be open to the possibilities.  Soon thereafter, we shared our first kiss, a prolonged overnight date, and the beginnings of an epic love story.  Enjoying all the moments together, big and small.  All these weeks later, I am quite sure, my life is permanently altered, hope restored, and my ability to dream of the future reignited.